


All Grown Up Now

by VSkyMaples



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Winchester - Freeform, High School, M/M, Rape, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Trauma, castiel - Freeform, dark angst, novak - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22009549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VSkyMaples/pseuds/VSkyMaples
Summary: In high-school Dean makes one of the biggest mistakes of his life and Castiel makes the biggest decision to leave Dean, his crush.
Relationships: Destiel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	All Grown Up Now

**Author's Note:**

> Warning  
> there is rape, detailed rape, alcoholism, and bad language. Lots of angst, it’s dark.

Castiel stood in the middle of an unknown bedroom, the light switched off and only the moon shining through the window panes with the curtains drawn open. There was a queen sized bed in the corner of the room and a desk covered in books and paper in another corner, posters of girls in bikinis stapled to the walls with even a dart board hanging on the in-side of the door. sounds of deafened down music pulsates through the walls of this strangers house. Castiel didn’t understand why he accepted the invitation to this party when he clearly feels like he doesn’t want to be apart of it. The surroundings down stairs made his skin crawl and his heart race… so many sins were playing out down there that he just had to cut himself off from it all and now he stands with a red plastic cup full of alcohol in his fidgeting hands and a cold chill down his back like he feels something bad might happen. Feeling paranoid really. 

Not knowing what to do now that he was alone he thought maybe he’d just sit down on the edge of the bed and think things through; plan how to get out of here without being bullied, pushed, vomited on or have some girl attack him with hugs and sloppy kisses. he wasn’t used to this environment, he was honestly scared but he was proud of himself for having the courage to sneak out, he trusted himself, he was wise to know right from wrong and when to do things and when not to do things. He’ll never accept drugs but he’s ok with sensible drinking. God if his parents could see him now, they’d send him to live with a priest and go to church everyday, praying every night was enough already. Cas didn’t like being locked up and away from society besides at school of course. you could say he’s doubting his faith just a little but he’s still holding on with confidence. 

Thinking through a small variety of options he felt like calling someone to pick him up but who can he call? His parents don’t know he’s out and they’d freak if they hear he was. Cas has no friends to call either and his brothers… well they won’t help, it’s usually “Everyman for themselves” in his family and all of them have moved out except for Castiel, the rest rebelled against their shared parents and left. 

So here Castiel sits, still thinking things through and just when he thinks he’s mustered up enough courage to leave the room and walk home someone none-gracefully stumbles through the door and closes it behind them with a thud. He had strong looking shoulders and sandy dark hair and the type of green eyes you’d think a guy in a fan-fiction would have. This was all Castiel needed to be able to tell it was Dean Winchester, Play Boy extraordinaire, some people who saw past his looks only saw him as a sad little kid with family issues but Castiel liked to see past that entirely, and that’s something he’d regret with time but he had faith. Castiel liked to think that he just had low self-esteem because of his fathers mistakes but what’s important is that he doesn’t care about that, he cares about Deans true heart, the person that protects his brother and is impossibly brave, Cas has always wanted to know more about him, he is crushing on Dean after all and he’s beyond thankful no one knows. 

Cas stood in shock at seeing the taller male enter the room, he gulped as his nerves twitched when those piercing green eyes looked him over. Dean stepped closer, and without Castiel noticing he turned a small nub in the door knob to lock the door before his hand left it to hang by his side. 

Dean was close enough now for the shorter male to smell the potent Vodka coming from his breath and skin but he was still at least a foot or two away. Castiel suspected he was drunk. not tipsy. Drunk.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel said simply with a gentle voice. He’s never been near Dean outside of school so this was new and intriguing but totally nerve racking.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at bible studies or something?” Dean questioned with an expression so untrained, he blinked a couple times to focus his gaze on the messy black hair in front of him and those striking blue eyes, he couldn’t see much but he knew exactly who stood in front of him; the Virgin Castiel, the bible slut, the one you’ll see in the library alone or sitting in a tree away from everyone else. He’s known to be very Christian and in turn Castiel being here was something that confused Dean and sobered him the tiniest bit. 

“Bible studies are usually on Friday afternoons” Castiel stated and his face was unmoving, innocent like, causing Dean to chuckle at how serious the dorky nerd was being. Cas didn’t know what to do but stare at Dean’s face, it was something curved from marble he swore to God, and his arms were… just too much for Castiel to bare.

“You know, I came up here to blow off some steam and get away from people but here you are” Castiel thought that the alcohol was really starting to get to Dean now because he chuckled before but now he’s serious and almost like he’s vengeful in a way.

“Why do you believe in God, huh? What makes you so sure he’s real when the worlds going to shit?” Deans voice was full of emotion and his face looked struggled.

“The lord works in-” 

“If you say, “Mysterious ways” so help me, I will kick your ass” Dean sneered, taking a full step towards the shorter male, now only being a breath away from collision. Castiel didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t say anything when just the smell of Deans alcoholic breath was enough to make him feel tipsy, and his warmth was chaos for Castiel, he’s never felt this way for someone. Dean must have seen a look in Castiel’s eyes before closing his mouth for a second.

“If there is a God... and you worship him so much, would he let me do this?” He questioned and Cas was confused, he tilted his head in the confusion he was feeling until he felt deans fingers in the belt loops of his jeans and spun him around, shoving Castiel’s back to make him stumble onto the bed, the plastic cup of alcohol spilling on Cas’ shirt and the strangers bed. Cas gasped, feeling a heavy weight upon his lower back and his wrists being pinned above his head. he tried to turn his head and look at Dean but he couldn’t because the side of his face was being pushed into the mattress.

“D-dean what are you doing?!” Castiel raised his voice in alarm, his breath frantic as he tried but struggled to get out of the others strong grip. Unfortunately Castiel felt one hand of Dean’s leave his wrists and tug roughly at the back of his jeans, shoving them down along with his boxer briefs, his round ass now exposed. Castiel felt his heart wrench, he sobbed at the realisation of what he was trying to do

“Dean, please stop, you’re drunk!” Castiel begged and tried to knock some sense into the other male but he only tightened his grip around Cas’ wrists and leaned against his back, now using his other hand to slip to the front of Castiel and start stroking his member. 

Castiel had a huge crush on Dean and pictured him taking his virginity a couple times but always thought that was bad and tried to get rid of them but the point is, is that those fantasies were nice and passionate. Cas’ didn’t want this. This was scary and sickening, he felt so exposed and his skin was crawling with fear. 

“Stop touching me!” Cas’ yelled at him, half of it being muffled by the sheets. He knew that even if he tried to yell for help, the music down stairs would drain it out. He was trapped here. Tears started to well up in Castiel’s eyes and his cheeks burned with the tears that fell. Deans hand left his member but continued with his ass, slipping his finger through, causing Castiel to gasp and sob, gritting his teeth together in pain. 

“Please, I beg you, dean please stop” Castiel sobbed, all his fighting power left because of how sore and tired his back muscles felt from trying to wriggle out or thrash around, all the efforts were lost because of Deans weight on top of him. He gripped the sheets and sobbed into the pillow, tears starting to dampen the fabric. 

If there is a God, then please help me. I’m scared.

It wasn’t long before Dean became bored with using his finger inside Castiel, he began to unzip his pants and that sound struck fear into the shorter male again. All the begging and crying has made Castiel’s throat sore and he’s unable to say anything anymore, all he can do is sob into the mattress and wait everything out. Cas knew that Dean’s mind wasn’t in the right place but it doesn’t excuse his actions if he’s about to go this far. Castiel will never forgive him. All those times that Dean came and sat with him in the library, actually defended him from bullies once, years ago of course, is now going down to the sewers. Deans destroying their connection, he’s been destroying it all year; He’s made Castiel fetch drug bags just so he could get out of a gang deal he made but it was fine because it was all for Dean, there was also a time Castiel got beaten up for Deans safety but once he came back, Dean blamed him for the reason the gang didn’t want him around anymore. Over time Dean showed signs of not caring for Castiel anymore; he didn’t care if he got bullied, he didn’t care if he was suspended or got into trouble, Dean even gave Castiel shit for his religious beliefs. Castiel became something that of a servant, someone to come at his beck and call and Castiel did it anyway because he cares for Dean. He loves Dean. But now here he was being useful to him again, Castiel felt sick to the stomach about it. He didn’t want this. 

Unexpectedly Dean pulled Cas’ hips up and pushed right in. Castiel’s lungs seized and his stomach muscles clenched in reaction to the scorching pain, Cas’ eyes watered and he yelled out in pain,

“GOD shit Dean get out of me!” He sobbed and gritted out, gripping the pillow hard to the put his knuckles turned white and his finger tips red but Dean still doesn’t listen, he fastens his pace and Castiel continues to feel the slight tears of his walls, the pain making him see white and gasp in pain, he had no voice anymore. Dean just keeps going and going and going, in some ways Castiel was fortunate to pass out a couple times before Dean is even close to releasing but when he does, he does it inside of him and all Cas can do is lie there not moving but when dean pulls out he cries out in pain, Cas collapsed on the bed with sweat layering his skin. 

Dean decided-in his hazy mind- to flip Castiel over, and once he did his whole body freezes. Dean completely stopped, he stared into wide eyes, blue glassy eyes blown open with fear, the fear dean realised he was causing. Just one look into his eyes. Slowly deans mind caught up with him and started whacking things back into shape, knocking all the alcohol out of his brain cells and a headache on the way. Dean glanced his eyes down the body beneath him before looking back up into those blue eyes, he steps back away from the bed, these movements make the shorter quickly shuffle back to get further away and pulls his pants back on with an obvious grimace of pain and huff of tears, wiping his eyes with his wrists before gulping and not taking his eyes off of Dean just in case he does anything. Dean stepped back more, his eyes widened and his brows furrowed in utter confusion.

“Cas” was all he said in a weak voice, he could feel a heavy migraine coming now even in his tipsy state. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, he looks down at his hands then sees his own member, it had traces of blood, Cas’ blood, he exhales in worry and shock before tucking his member back inside his pants. He didn’t know if he could look up at Cas or not, he felt ashamed, more than ashamed, he felt beyond terrible for hurting Castiel. He looked up and felt tears coming to his own eyes, seeing how terrified those blue eyes look. No matter how terrible he felt, he still couldn’t completely wrap his mind around what just happened.

Castiel painfully slid forward off the bed, limped his way up to Dean hesitantly and the limping was definitely bad, it kept making Castiel nearly choke on his own breath from the pain. He stared at Dean with intense blue eyes

“Cas-” He didn’t get to finish what he said because Castiel landed a hard punch to his cheek, causing Dean to stumble a little and his lip to bust against his teeth. Before Dean could try and say anything more,Cas started to limp his way out of the room, ignoring Deans existence. 

Cas limped down the stairs, every step was like hell or what you’d imagine the pain to be like in hell but worse. The pain took his every second breath and he sobbed the rest out, people turned to stare at Castiel like he was some freak, some laughed and others just glanced but he could tell some of them knew what had happened to him. Any smart person would know what happened, A guy leaves a room with a limp after being in there with another guy. They knew Castiel was raped judging by how he looks but they don’t know who by. 

It’s not like Castiel cared much, he was focusing too much on the fact he just got raped by his crush that he loved. It was difficult for Cas’ to accept but Dean might have been right about God, after all that, he knew that he felt doubt now because why would God let this happen.

“Can you please come and pick me up?” Once outside Castiel called his parents, his voice sore and rigid. He knew that his parents would be furious but he also knew that they’d never let Castiel go to public school again and honestly.. Good riddance.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not too sure yet if I want to make this into a series, but if this goes well I might continue it. Also I apologise If this is written badly in anyway, first time writing something so dark


End file.
